


Why you SHOULDN'T eat bathbombs (not clickbait)

by Insecure_Idiot



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Gay, I accidentally made this into a ship fic, M/M, What Have I Done, it wasn't accidental, the bathbomb meme is strong with this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-13 18:03:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10518990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Insecure_Idiot/pseuds/Insecure_Idiot
Summary: Youtuber AU! Evan makes a video patronizing Jared about the one time he ate a bathbomb.





	

"Hey guys! So today I'm going to be talking about an issue that's really personal-"

Evan's voice was abruptly cut off by quiet laughter coming from behind the camera. He glanced at Connor for a split second before adjusting himself on his bed and clearing his throat.

" _Anyway_ , we're going to be talking about why you definitely should **_never_** eat a bath bomb."

Jared, who had been sitting in the corner of Evan's room, just out of the camera's view, let out a breathy laugh, snorting and playfully glaring at Evan.

"Don't laugh Jared, you had me so worried!" Evan scolded quietly, grabbing a discarded pencil eraser and chucking it at him.

The pencil eraser hit the desk about 3 feet away from Jared, to which he laughed even harder and wheezed out a sarcastic comment about Evan's sport skills. Evan motioned for Connor to pan the camera over to Jared and zoom in on his flushed face.

" _This_ is what happens to someone under the influence of bath bombs. Tragic."

Connor focused the camera back on Evan, who had grabbed a galaxy colored bath bomb.

"I don't care how pretty it is, it could have sparkles, rose petals, the whole shebang, under _no_ circumstances should you eat one. I will now demonstrate the _proper_ use of a bath bomb."

Connor took that as a cue to walk to the bathroom, where they had already filled a bathtub up with water. Jared, who was still giggling, looked at Evan from his corner of the room, wiping away fake tears.

"Okay, what is so funny? You're acting higher than my Algebra grade and I'm a damn math _genius_."

Jared coughed into his hand, his shoulders still bouncing with laughter, and said the word " ** _S_** ** _hebang_** " with air quotations. Evan rolled his eyes, dragging him up by his arm.

"You're going to watch me film this next segment, I'm doing this _specifically_ for you." Evan said, still holding Jared's arm.

Jared coughed again, still lightly chucking, "Sounds kinky."  Evan shoved him into a corner with a quick threat of, "If you move from this spot so help me I will burn your PlayStation 4 and force you to watch Shrek the Musical."

Surprisingly, Jared ceased his laughter and nodded, mumbling something about how evil Evan is.

"So, the first thing you want to do with your bath bomb is make sure there's no plastic on it. I've heard from, um, sources, that this may feel like you're unwrapping some sort of candy, but I will once again remind you to **_not eat it_**."

Evan unwrapped the bath bomb and threw the plastic at Jared, mouthing the word "sorry." Jared mouthed back, "No you're not." and started folding the plastic into a makeshift crown that he promptly placed on his head. Connor, who had been watching the whole situation unfold, let out a quiet snort of laughter and turned the camera to focus on Jared, zooming in on the plastic crown.

"Connor! Focus!" Evan's voice was hushed and barely containing his own laughter, but nonetheless continued his video.

"The next step is to place it in the water. This is the last moment you will hold the bath bomb, and although you may be tempted to bite into it because it smells _divine_ I promise it just tastes like salt and regret."

With that, Evan not-so-gracefully placed the bath bomb in the bathtub, and told Connor to get a nice shot of it disintegrating. Instead of doing that, Connor turned around and looked at Jared, who now had a comically large frown etched on his face and was mouthing the words to "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion.   

Evan was entranced with watching the bath bomb melt away and Connor took the chance to subtly check him out with the camera. Jared, who doesn't understand subtlety in the slightest, loudly stated, "Did you just check Evan out?" to which Connor replied with a swift kick to the shin. Evan, who's attention was now focused completely on Connor, blushed profusely and motioned Connor over. Connor aimed the camera down in the bathtub, his own cheeks tinted pink.

"So, um, that's why you- you shouldn't eat a bath bomb and what to actually do with it! Special thanks to my dumbass friend Jared Kleinman for actually ingesting a bath bomb and giving me this idea and- and my camera man Connor Murphy for um, staying focused! Ha, um, camera joke. I'll see you in the next video!"

Evan brought his hand up to the camera to cover the lens, and Connor turned it off. The two looked at each other for a split second before turning to Jared awkwardly.

"I, uh, hoped you learned a lesson!" Evan said, flicking the plastic crown off Jared's head.

"The only thing I learned is Sexual Tension 101 starring Connor and Evan. Honestly like, when are you two going to-"

"That's enough!" Evan said, forcibly laughing and pushing him out of the bathroom.

"You know I'm right, I mean, judging by all the things you've told me-"

"Really, thank you, that's enough!" Evan growled, leading him down the stairs.

Jared laughed loudly, " And based on all those things you said you wanted to _do_ to him, I would've thought something would've happened by now-"

"Thank you for coming, don't eat another ball of chemicals, goodnight!" And with that, Evan pushed him out the door and locked it.

He leaned against the door, eyes closed, and slid down to the ground.

"Evan?" Connor's voice was nervous, as he sat next to the shorter man. Evan opened his eyes to see Connor only 2 inches away from his face, and glanced down at his lips, then back up to his eyes. He shrieked and stood up clumsily, brushing his jeans off.

They stared at each other in silence for awhile, before Evan spoke up, " Did you really, um, check me out with the camera? I mean, I don't really have much to check out, I'm just kind of _me_ and you're _you_ so the idea is probably ridiculous or something."

Connor stood up slowly, and let out a small laugh. "I actually check you out a lot, I'm surprised you haven't caught me staring yet."

Evan's face flushed as he took a timid step towards Connor.

"You stare...at _me?_ I thought I was being creepy when I stared at you, because I do it a lot, I mean not _a lot_ but probably more than the average person looks at someone because sometimes the light hits your eyes in this perfect way and your hair just frames your face so nicely that you look like an actual angel and I-"

His ramblings were cut short by soft lips pressing against his. Evan reached his hand up to tangle it in Connor's hair, reciprocating the kiss with as much feeling as he could muster. Connor was the first to pull away, and he chuckled as Evan let out a soft whine at the lack of contact. Connor grabbed Evan's hand and led him back up the stairs.

"Why are we headed to my bedroom?" Evan asked, still stunned.

Connor said nothing, but shut the door behind him and latched his lips onto Evan's neck. Evan bit his tongue to stop himself from letting out any inappropriate noises and choked out, "Not that I'm not enjoying this, because I am, I _really_ am, but what are we doing?"

Connor paused for a moment before cupping Evan's face in his hands, "I'm showing my new boyfriend how beautiful he is."

Evan's face turned bright red, and Connor winked. "Now," he said, gently pushing Evan onto his bed and climbing on top of him, "Why don't you show me all the things you told Jared you'd do to me."

 


End file.
